About Me

I am a proud wife and mother, and a born again Christian. I work from home as a writer while taking care of Miss N, our six-year-old, Miss M, our four-year-old and Miss C, our newest bundle of joy. Life is crazy but so much fun!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Be Still


I sit here, fingers on the keyboard, researching antioxidants, oral cancer and toothpaste.

 

She always has a tummy ache, maybe she needs to go gluten free like my mom.

 

I just heard the big one cough again, maybe she’s getting pneumonia again. We went a whole year without it, I was hoping for longer.

 

She’s going under anesthetic, my baby. Are we doing the right thing? Is this cough really that important.

 

Type type, research research, yet my mind gets noisy again.

 

Am I giving them enough attention? I’ve been working a lot, and they are fighting a lot, maybe I am not doing this right.

 

Man, that election was killer. Will my kids know the freedom of carrying a Bible if they want? Should we buy a gun while we still can?

 

Focus. Type. Research.

 

Did I make enough this month? Christmas is coming, and Florida. Will we be good, or should I work a little more tonight? What if the work stops flowing this month? Will I make enough to cover tuition?

 

What about Tim. He probably wanted the house cleaner when he got home. I am not doing a very good job at that. Maybe I should take the day off tomorrow.

 

Type, type, type, click, click, click,

 

 This is a new client. The instructions are vague. How do I know what he wants? What if I am wasting my time?

 

Suddenly, a still small voice, Be still and know that I am God.

 

I love them more than you ever could.

 

I know exactly where your next client and your next paycheck is coming from.

 

I see you are doing your best with your kids and your husband.

 

It’s just a house.

 

Relax. Trust. Pray. And love them with all you have.

 

But in the end, Be Still and Know that I am God.

 

My anxious mind calms, my focus returns, and I finish out the night.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Update on Miss C

So, I wanted to put it down here even though it's already been on Facebook.



Miss C has had this strange cough since she was born. At first, her pediatrician and I thought it was a cold because Miss M gave her a lovely kiss right on the lips the day I brought her home, and she had a cold at the time. But, week after week it never really went away, and she never really acted "sick."

The cough sounds exactly like a croup cough. Most of the time if someone doesn't know her and hears her doing it, like at the grocery store, they tell me she's got croup. But, you cannot have croup for five months.

Her pediatrician suggested that it was probably a floppy larynx and we should keep an eye on it unless it gets worse. Then, she started having a lot of stridor, which is this strange whistling type noise that is not wheezing and is quite loud. We joke that she sounds like a seal or a goose.

Well, it did not get better, and if anything got worse. I called the doctor one day to see if they wanted to see her, but played phone tag with the nurse. She heard me say "stridor" and said I had to go to the urgent care ASAP. Even though her pediatrician knew about the stridor, when the nurse says that, you go.

That doctor was obviously not familiar with babies. He looked at her, said "She's not sick so she must have a cold, let's give her a steroid." It didn't matter that I told him she's had this issue since birth and her pediatrician thought it was anatomical. I said, "No thank you." and left.

The thing is, though, when they took her oxygen levels at first they were really low (85). So, the next day back to the pediatrician we went. This time I had to see someone else because mine was off for the day. She thought C didn't sound normal (in my ped's defense, he hadn't really heard her make the noise at her well-baby checks. This time we just got lucky).

So, chest and neck x-rays were ordered, which were pretty much normal, and we got a referral to a pulmonologist. That took a month to get through and get in, but we had that appointment Friday.

Thankfully (we had a lot of people praying) she made the noises in question several times for the specialists. They definitely thought it was not normal and that we needed to find out why. Their theory is that she has a narrowing somewhere in the airway or some other obstruction, but not hte larynx as the pediatrician originally thought. She is not in any distress at this point, but the cough is not going to get better unless we get to the bottom of it.

So, we are waiting to get a scope done of her airways. She will have to go under for that, which makes this mommy a tad bit nervous, but she is getting seen at the Madison Children's Hospital, which makes me feel better. It is an excellent hospital.

In spite of all of this, she is still the happiest, easiest going baby in the world. Right now, she has a cold on top of it all, and she's still so happy. She is such a blessing!