About Me

I am a proud wife and mother, and a born again Christian. I work from home as a writer while taking care of Miss N, our six-year-old, Miss M, our four-year-old and Miss C, our newest bundle of joy. Life is crazy but so much fun!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Sad Baby Girl

So, if you read my last update post, then you know that i have been put on modified bed rest, if you will. Basically, I am supposed to sit as much as possible, no grocery shopping, chores, etc. I can still leave the house, if need be, to go to church or pick up the kids from school, but that's it.

This is hard.

I  am not tallented enough to parent from the couch. My kids are not yet self sufficient enough to get much of what they need for themselves. So, this arrangement has forced me to find care options for them.

And one of them is having a VERY hard time with it all.

Yesterday, I had to go in to the hospital because I had a very high spike in BP. My in-laws came and got the girls and took them to church, and I was explaining what was happening. Miss M, my younger one, started sobbing. She just wants mommy. She just wants her normal routine. I buckled in my baby sobbing her head off, you know, the big chocking sobs. It was so hard.

Then, this morning I was explaining the plan for the week. Unless my doctor decides 37 weeks is fine and we have a baby this week, my parents are coming this weekend just so that we can have some sanity and a bit of our normal routine back. But, until then, we decided the best option was to send the kids to school full day. I can pick them up around 4 and then I will only have an hour that I will need to tend to everything without Tim. Since I am not on full bed rest, this should be OK.We have people willing to babysit, but this seems to be the closest to the normal routine, and saves quite a bit of driving time since most of the people who have volunteered live by our church, which sadly we are not close to.

So, I was explaining what the plan would be for the week. Miss N was so excited. She has been dreaming about staying at school all day, like it is some sort of rare privilege. Miss M melted into a puddle of tears.

"But, I just want to be wif you mommy."

Now, how on earth am I supposed to respond to that? She's three. Yes, she needs to "buck up" or whatever, but she's three. It broke my heart into tiny pieces. I tried to explain it would just be for a couple of days and then grandma and grandpa would be here and it would all be back to normal. She spent most of the morning clinging to my leg and sobbing.

I am ready to be done with this pregnancy and be back to being a mommy!

Now, even writing all of this, I realize that many people have it much worse. I have one friend working on her sixth month of bed rest, and a newly adopted four-year-old at home. I have others who cannot have babies. I have others who are dealing with preemies and all that comes from that. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am thankful. I am thankful that we are in the safe zone, that really my pregnancy has not been dangerous in spite of the complications and the "could haves," and I am thankful that the bed rest is working.

But when your baby is crying because she wants you, it still makes your heart ache.

Soon, sweet child, life will be back to our crazy version of normal. Soon.

Friday, April 27, 2012

36 weeks update

How far along? 36 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Do you really have to ask?

Sleep: Not too shabby.

Best moment this week: Finding out my 24 hour test got better? I guess that means that all the complications are not making me ill. Oh, and getting a new gig that I think will be really good for the post-baby period when my schedule will be up in the air.

Movement: Steady and strong.

Milestones: All major organ work is done. Now she's just gaining weight.

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Contractions have actually slowed down.

What I miss: Not getting told how huge I am by complete strangers.

What I am looking forward to: Um, I guess my next appointment. I keep hoping she will decide we are in a safe enough zone and say let's have a baby :)

Weekly Wisdom: I got nothing.

Complications Update: So, they changed my medication dose, but it didn't have much of an effect. I am still spiking quite a bit later in the day. So, I am now on mostly bed rest. It's not full bed rest - she said I can go to church, pick up the kids from school, but otherwise I need to have my tush glued to the couch. Thankfully, between the school being willing to work with me and the wonderful church family we have, I think we will be OK until we can have this baby. My mom can come at a moment's notice too so if we need to have her this week, all will be OK. My doctor actually hinted we could do it now, but that there was still a little risk of a NICU stay at 36 weeks. So I am pushing for the 37 week mark just to be on the safe side. However, if I get any readings above certain levels, I have to call RIGHT NOW. So, it could be sooner rather than later. . .

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

35 weeks update

How far along? 35 weeks!

Maternity clothes? Yep! I had to try on four shirts this morning before I found one that would cover my bump with the capris I am wearing. Sigh.

Sleep: Working too much.

Best moment this week: When my doctor hinted we might not make it until May 17. Let's face it, the last month of pregnancy is not comfy. I wouldn't mind having this baby a couple of weeks early. Also, the way Miss M's face lit up when she thought I said the baby was coming out. She really, really wants to meet her baby sister.

Movement: Remember how I said she wasn't moving as much. Yeah, well, she got over that. She was moving so much during my last NST that they had to keep repositioning the sensor and I had to wait forever before they got the reading they needed.

Milestones: All major organ work is done. Now she's just gaining weight.

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Lots and lots of contractions, but not too uncomfortable.

What I miss: Energy

What I am looking forward to: Finding out the results of my latest 24 hour collection. This could mean we keep on trucking or it could mean we push for an earlier delivery. I was hoping they woudl call today but no. Since my doctor is not in on Thursdays, I will probably have to wait until my appointment Friday. Also, baby shower at my church this Saturday.

Weekly Wisdom: I got nothing.

Complications Update: My bp was high at my Tuesday appointment, and that fact combined with the contractions means that we might have to go early. But we might not. It's all a waiting game at this point. I would be happy if we got to 36 weeks. Of course, I have no newborn and few 0 to 3 month clothing so going early would mean a shopping trip, but I am ready to be done.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

34 weeks update

How far along? 34 weeks! Miss N was born at 34 weeks, 1 day, which is today. I am so thankful to not be there at this point! But, I also feel very strongly that we are now in the "safe" zone.

Maternity clothes? Yep. Getting down to only a few shirts that fit. I will NOT buy more!

Sleep: Not enough. I'm cranky.

Best moment this week: Got to see my doctor again. It's been like two weeks. I cracked up when I mentioned I was not impressed with the high risk doctor I saw last week. She went off on that doctor! Apparently she (the high risk doctor) doesn't have much of a reputation.

Movement: She is definitely not moving as much. I have been doing kick counts which I never did with the other kids.

Milestones: She's head down! Doesn't really matter since I am having a c-section but that means she's getting ready for birth!

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: No signs of labor, but lots of practice contractions. They wear me out!

What I miss: Feeling normal. I am so uncomfortable! My back, hips, abdomen, and other areas just hurt, constantly. Getting up off of the couch to attend to the girls is so painful! I feel like an old woman! The doctor said it's because it's my third baby. How do people have 8+ kids and not go crazy!

What I am looking forward to: Meeting this little girl in five weeks!

Weekly Wisdom: Sometimes, you have to apologize to your kids. Sometimes, you lose your cool. Apologies and hugs really do heal.

Complications Update: Bp is starting to go up. The High risk doctor said this will happen at about 33-34 weeks. I am starting to swell at night, but that's normal. I am not sure if this is complications or just what happens at the end of pregnancy. Baby didn't pass an NST this week, but she passed the biophysical profile (ultrasound) so she was deemed fine. Lots and lots of monitoring, but we look to still be in the clear.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

33 Weeks Update

I think she is going to take after Miss M with that round face. Definitely filling out.

Ok, so I missed a few weeks. It's been busy, what can I say?

How far along? 33 weeks! In my first pregnancy I was in the hospital on horrible drugs and awaiting my girl's lungs to develop enough that they could deliver me. So thankful to be where I am right now!

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Sleep: Hot flashes, potty breaks, and crazy dreams mean poor sleep. normal at this stage in the game.

Best moment this week: Um, the floors are done! Also, got a 3D picture of her sweet face.

Movement: She is definitely not moving as much. No one but me seems worried by this.

Milestones: Growth ultrasound showed her to be 5 lb, 1 oz, and they said I don't need to come back to the high risk ward. Still waiting to see if my doctor is done monitoring her growth. . .

Gender: Girl

Labor Signs: Contractions have started, at least I think that's what they are. Nothing regular, but I don't think I ever had contractions until I was induced with Miss N and never with Miss M. They make me tired.

What I miss: My energy!

What I am looking forward to: Hopefully seeing my doctor next week. Haven't seen her in a few weeks due to unforeseen things like sickness and emergency c-sections. I don't enjoy repeating my entire history over and over or being told I am a "good girl" by the stupid nurse practitioner. I am not 12.

Weekly Wisdom: Sometimes, your three year old needs extra snuggles. Give them to her.

Complications Update: Well, proteins in my urine were not a concern to the high risk doctor. I am being monitored twice a week but bp seems to be holding steady. I am beginning to get the impression that all of this monitoring, scares, etc., is going to end up being for nothing. Oh well. I guess it is better safe than sorry when we are talking about bringing a new life into this world.