Keeping Lines of Communication Open

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My friend Janna is doing a blog series about Shepherding a Child's Heart. I am broke and do not have the book, but I will try to jump in when I can get it. Regardless, one phrase she quoted got me thinking. It was about how most children have emotionally left home by the age of 12.

I had a wonderful home. I always knew my parents were there for me and I could talk to them about anything. Literally. I want that for my kids.

I asked my mom one time why me and Joey have such a good relationship with them, and why she thinks we always felt we could talk to them. She answered that she always listened, even when we were two and made no sense.

So, in light of what i have read from Janna's blog and what I have been meditating on, I have decided to have more open communication with my daughter, and to do so purposefully. Today, Natalie had a rough day. For some reason she was really tired, and she was struggling to be kind and loving with me and her sister. I pulled her aside, and instead of chastising her for her behavior, I hugged her and asked if something was bothering her. She wasn't able to verbalize what was wrong, if anything, but I wanted to show her she could talk to me. Then, taking a cue from my friend Michelle's blog, I helped her to think of things she could be thankful for. She said, "I'm thankful for you, Megan, and the whole wide world."

It stopped the griping for a while.

A walk to the park (fresh air and exercise) did the trick for a while after that.

I really do love my child, and sometimes I think in the process of being a mom and a writer, I let the annoyances overrun the love. In a way, I am behaving like her, dwelling on the negative instead of focusing on what I can be thankful for. I am going to work on this in the coming weeks - communication and focusing on the positive.

Comments

Janna said…
I love the picture and most of all the post.

It brought a tear to my eye. Even if she couldn't verbalize what was bothering her it was probably so nice to know you were there to listen.

Would your local library have the book? I don't mind you just participating by reading the summaries though. I read a money blog were he summarizes books and I like just being able to glean from his nuggets without reading the whole thing.
September 1, 2009 at 4:08 AM
a joyful nusiance said…
What a great idea!! I am going to implement that in my home!!
September 1, 2009 at 4:21 AM
Unknown said…
I know you are going to have a good relationship with your girls because you have the desire to. I just praise the Lord for His mercy because it is HIM alone that caused Daddy and I to do any good thing. I watch you with your girls and marvel at God's goodness wondering how I could have had any part in raising such a lovely godly mommy. :)
I love you sweetie
MOM
September 1, 2009 at 7:51 PM
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