Getting Closer

We love our church. Today, we had a lovely afternoon dinner at a local restaurant with church friends. Miss N and her little friend were treating us to a "ballroom style" dance party after the meal, while Miss M and I ran back and forth to the potty as she kept saying she wanted to go (she was not successful).

We got home late and were unsure about how long the children would sleep. I was really wanting to go back to church for the evening service because we had done junior church in the morning.

When the girls woke by five, I was thrilled. We shoveled some food at them and I was getting them dressed. Miss N was acting kind of strange, and she came up and said, "Mommy, can I tell you something?" My response, as usual, was "Of course, you can tell me anything."

She whispered in my ear, "Mommy, I want to be a Christian."

I asked her, "Why do you think you are not a Christian?" and she responded, "Because I do bad things."

I explained to her that those bad things are called sin, and that is why we cannot go to heaven, but that Jesus died to take away those sins. I explained that all she had to do was pray and tell God she knows she has sinned and wants him to save her from those sins. I asked her if she wanted to pray and she said, "Yes."

I was not, and still am not, convinced that she fully understands the gospel. She was not really answering my questions. I did not feel comfortable leading her in a prayer, but if she was able, willing, and interested, I wasn't going to stop her.

I hugged her close and told her she could pray, "But I don't know how, Mommy. I don't know what to say."

Why is it that so many people think there is a formula or a rule to follow to pray? I explained that all she had to do was tell God what was in her heart, and He would hear her. She said, "I want to ask Pastor about it." Then Miss M interrupted and the urgent need to finish getting ready for church took our attention.

So we did meet with our pastor. As I figured she would, when we actually sat down to talk to our pastor, she got shy and nervous. He explained a little more about the gospel and assured her that Mommy and Daddy knew a lot about the Bible and could answer her questions.

She is beginning to get to that point, and for some reason, I am a bit fearful. She's so young. Tim and I were discussing that we want this decision to be fully hers, not something we pushed or encouraged too strongly for her to do. She needs to know exactly what she is doing, so later in life when Satan places doubts in her heart, she will be able to answer those.

Will you pray with me? Will you pray that she will not forget these awakenings in her heart and that she will keep opening up to me? I was her age when I realized my need for a savior. She is young, but four is not too young.