At four, Miss N is learning new skills every day. As her mother, I love watching her explore her abilities and learn new ones. I love her new independence. But sometimes it's not convenient.
Yet, as parents sometimes it is easier to let them depend on us. Frankly, it's much quicker for me to buckle her into her carseat than to wait while she struggles with the latch. Sometimes I find myself losing patience with her while waiting in the hot sun for her to finish.
I have had to hold myself back this week and let her learn. It's not possible to learn without struggle. She is becoming quite masterful at buckling herself into the carseat. But in order for her to learn that, I had to step back and let her struggle.
Sometimes I find that she vehemently opposes my help. I am left to wonder if I hover too much, if she is just really independent right now, or if she is actually stalling because she knows we are late.
For now, I guess we will just plan some extra time, and also set some boundaries. When she is working on something, like buckling the carseat, that she wants to do herself, but may not be able to do, perhaps some boundaries will work. For instance, saying, "Jump in and get yourself buckled. If you are not done by the time I am done buckling Miss M, I will help you finish."
I also need to examine my own heart and make sure I am not being unfairly impatient with her. Stalling when we need to leave to be somewhere on time is not acceptable, but at the same time she is a child who is learning new things all of the time. She needs the chance to learn.
Mercy: Help When We Are Weak
2 months ago