I am a proud wife and mother, and a born again Christian. I work from home as a writer while taking care of Miss N, our six-year-old, Miss M, our four-year-old and Miss C, our newest bundle of joy. Life is crazy but so much fun!
I admit I don't fully understand prayer, it's purpose, and the way it works. Some day when I have some time it is something I intend to study further. However, I am thankful for the fact that God knows what we need, even when we don't, and sometimes when we don't even know how to pray.
About three weeks ago I applied for a writing gig (I work from home as a freelance writer) that I really, really wanted. It took hours to prepare the application and sample, because I wanted it to be just right. I knew the job would stretch my writing style, but it was a challenge I honestly welcomed. Sadly, I don't think I got the job. I haven't heard "no" but it's been long enough that I think I didn't get it. Often in my line of work you don't hear "no."
I prayed for that gig. I prayed that I would get it if it was something I could handle. I admit, I am disappointed, but I know God answered my prayer.
However, I do need more work. Just this week, I got two new gigs and a client I haven't heard from for about a year just contacted me with a new, rather large, project they are starting! Amazing! God knew the need beyond what i was praying for, the need to expand my work options, and answered it in a completely wonderful way.
Today, I find my heart heavy. I have friends struggling with abusive behaviors, chronic pain, and deadly cancers. People my age who have babies like mine. Old friends. New Friends. People I love.
In some of these scenarios, I don't even know how to pray. I know prayer is needed, but prayer for what? Healing, surgeries, therapies? Grace, humility, wisdom?
Perhaps, I am not meant to know. In Romans 8:26, it says, "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
Even when I don't know how to pray, I should, and the Holy Spirit will intercede on my behalf. While I don't even attempt to fully understand that truth, it amazes me. And I am thankful.