I am tired.
Bills are due, work is waiting, but I am tired.
Tired of working all of the time. Tired of trying to find the magical balance between work and mommyhood, oh yeah, and there’s a hubby in there too.
I want to exercise, but there’s rarely time. Yes, rarely time for even 15 minutes of T-Tapp. I want to make healthful meals, but there are rarely sufficient funds. I want to be out of debt, but that requires more work. And work requires time.
I want to be a good mom. I want my kids to feel like I spend quality time with them, really listen to them, love them, want to be around them, but lately I’m not feeling as though I’m doing a good job of that. Their attitudes are showing me that my attitude has been stinky.
Rest assured, I have no visions of being super mom. I just want to be adequate. I just want to be there for my kids.
Take Friday for instance. I have two days per week that I reserve to be full work days, Mondays and Fridays. I NEED those days to stay on top of my workload and bills. Yet, Friday is the class field trip for Miss N. I told myself ages ago that I would make every effort to go to each and every class field trip since I work from home. That is why I work from home. So I am going. So somehow I need to get ahead before Friday.
You see, when you work from home, there is that funny thing: you still have to work. And, on top of that, you have to cook, clean, mother, laundry, feed, etc. every person and animal in your home. Oh, and the bills? Those are usually your responsibility too. After all, you are home and have the time, right?
I don’t know why I am writing this. It’s not going to change anything, and it’s not really even making me feel better. Maybe I want sympathy? I don’t know. I just want to not feel so tired all of the time. It would be lovely to be able to exercise without guilt, have the laundry folded BEFORE someone needs underwear, stay on top of the dishes, have the floors vacuumed at least 2 times per week, you know, that kind of thing. . .
Mercy: Help When We Are Weak
6 months ago