About Me

I am a proud wife and mother, and a born again Christian. I work from home as a writer while taking care of Miss N, our six-year-old, Miss M, our four-year-old and Miss C, our newest bundle of joy. Life is crazy but so much fun!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Oh the Fighting

Growing up my brother and I fought. A lot. We fought all the time for parent's attention and because he was just plain annoying. I, of course, was perfect (just kidding!) Oh and then there was the he-is-better-than-me-at-everything jealousy issue.
Joey and I are over five years apart in age. I kind of thought that was part of the reason we fought. When I was in High School, he was in elementary. When I was in elementary, he was a baby. We had little in common.

That's why I wanted my children to be relatively close in age. I thought that 28 months apart was a good spread.

These two little girls, my little angels.

They fight. A lot. All. of. the.time.

Here is what a typical afternoon is like in my home:

I get out the toy or activity of the day and settle them in to play. Natalie sees what Megan has and the conversation goes like this:

N: I wish I hand _____ like Megan (approaches Megan to grab said item)


N: Megan, stop that!

M: (snatches back toy)




M: SCREAMMMMM grab toy and run

Often Megan instigates the fight by getting in Natalie's business. She will push down the tower Natalie is bulding or destroy the circle of animals that my slightly OCD preschooler is so carefully construction. She will grab the coloring page and have it ripped to pieces before Mommy can interviene.

I have taught Natalie to share with her sister. She really does try. Let's say she has her ponies out. She will pick two and give them to Megan. Megan wants the ones that are in Natalie's hand, and she will grab them.
Grabbing a toy someone is playing with is not appropriate behavior, so I take the toy back, give it to Natalie, and tell Megan "You may not grab what sister is playing with. Here is another pony." This prompts Megan to scream a blood-curling scream in my ear (this is not crying, it's screaming and it hurts my eardrum (literally). She gets put in her crib for screaming. She cries for a long time while Natalie rolls on the floor in agony holding her ears and yelling at me to make Megan stop screaming.

Finally Megan stops screaming and I get her out, calmly telling her that she may not scream. Then, the cycle starts again. Although sometimes Natalie starts it by taking what Megan has.

Seriously, how do you teach a 15 month old to share? Am I asking too much of her for her age? It's not right for her to take whatever Natalie is playing with, and I don't think Natalie should be forced to play by herself in her room just because her sister is the same size as her but too young to understand sharing.

These posts have helped me but I am still working on implementing ideas into our home.

I pray that my girls will grow up having a good relationship. I need wisdom in this one.


jenmom said...

Thank you so much for your comment on my blog post "Questions". I appreciate your insight!
As for the sharing, that's a tough one especially when they are so young. Just the other day, my three year old was being really ugly with his 8 month old baby sister. He was yanking everything out of her hand and didn't want her touching anything of his.
I spoke with him about being nice and then I had him clear away those things that were his "favorites", but also made him choose one thing baby sister could have to play with.
This being a mommy is one wild ride isn't it?

Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam said...

Thanks for letting me know. I am as frustrated as you as to why it works for some people and not for others. I have tried to search google archives for an answer but everything is more simplistic such as..delete the entire blog name, and url and then put in new URL. I know people have done that, and cleared their caches. That's why I keep updating the old blog every once in awhile. I'll try and dig deeper as to what the problem is.

Sara A Broers said...

Yep- a perfect recap in regards to being a Mom! You gotta love it. Someday you will look back and say, "Wow, they are now the best of friends!"

Adventure Mom Janna said...

I am awarding you a blog award on my blog that you can read about by the end of the day. Congratulations friend!