About Me

I am a proud wife and mother, and a born again Christian. I work from home as a writer while taking care of Miss N, our six-year-old, Miss M, our four-year-old and Miss C, our newest bundle of joy. Life is crazy but so much fun!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Disrespecting Daddy

My girls are mommy's girls. They have every reason to be, since I am a work-at-home mom and do meet most of the needs they realize they have. Also, due to the fact that I am with them practically 24/7, I do most of the "fun" things too. Isn't that how most families with stay-at-home moms are?

We have a problem, though. Natalie is not respecting her daddy.

She loves her daddy, but there are just some things she wants only mommy for.

And she says hurtful things, like "I don't want Daddy."

How can I teach her to love her daddy? We require respect, but even that is lost sometimes. I am sure this hurts daddy, although he is strong and it doesn't appear to.

Here is what we have done:

When daddy is home, I require most requests to be taken to him. If something is requested of me, "Can I watch TV/play this game/etc." I say, "What does daddy think?"

When Natalie asks me, "Why is Daddy doing xyz" when Daddy is standing right there, she has to stop and ask him.

Daddy has been taking Natalie on one-on-one activities, usually with something fun worked in like Culver's or playing at the mall.

Mommy and Daddy take turns at bedtime. This is where the majority of the fighting occurs-Natalie does not want daddy to put her to bed, although the routine is basically identical so there's not anything missing when he does.

Anyone with some great insight or a wonderful book/website/resource for us to explore? I want my girls to have a strong relationship with their daddy!


AnnesZoo said...

Hey Nicole
My kids have done that a bit lately too - want only Mommy to tuck them.
They do go thru phases of bonding and I personally think that's normal.
There are some things that only Mommy will do for and others that only Daddy will do for.

You are definitely on the right track as far as when Daddy is home - sending them to him for requests, as well as for involving him in various special one-on-one activities.
It does take time, but in the long run, I believe you will see that it is working and be blessed. Continue to be consistent and promoting Daddy as head of home.

Sherri Johnson said...

Caroline goes through phases too, as far as "who she want's". During the day while daddy is at work we try to make him something, color him a picture if I'm having a busy day or a craft if I have more time. We try to envolve him in as much as possible, even if he's not here... Like at lunch we talk about what daddy is eating, stuff like that. By the time he gets home she is SO excited. With bed time we both tuck her in. We do this for 2 reasons. 1) if one of us isn't here she's not used to one or the other and we can still get her to bed. 2) I want her to see her daddy and mommy praying together with her. I agree that sending her to daddy for answers when he is home is a great thing to do. It will get better! Just let her see you respecting daddy and she'll get there!

mom2bacon said...

You are doing such a good job Nicole...I think you are doing the right things and they just go through phases of who they want. I'd say have Daddy do the bedtime routine and tell her you will tuck her in after books are read, jammies on, whatever your routine is. Sometimes I think it is just their way of trying to control a situation they have little control over.