Time Delayed Teaching
One of the principles taught in Parenting with Wisdom (yes, I know I failed in my summaries, but I do so much better with interaction so I kind of gave up. I promise you will love the book if you read it!) is time-delayed teaching. It’s actually a concept I learned first on Michelle’s blog, but basically, the idea is that the teaching we do with our kids often doesn’t fully “sink in” right when we are teaching.
I have seen this first hand recently.
One thing I have been working on is helping my children se all of the things they should be thankful for. For instance, when they are complaining about something I do not do for them that they want, I point out all that I do actually do for them. It usually does not work to stop the complaining.
But apparently it is working after all.
A couple of weeks ago we were coming home from church. Miss M was overly tired for some reason, and she wanted me to open a door for her, but daddy did it. She started to wail as if we had taken away her favorite teddy bear. I overheard Miss N say, “But M, think of all the good things mom does for you!”
A similar issue is complaining about dinner. I am not sure if I did this out of the right heart attitude, but one day I had had enough, and my gentle reminders to not complain were getting nowhere. So, I made it very clear to her that God hates complaining, and then I told her exactly how it made mommy feel. I explained that cooking is hard work and something I do because I love my family and want them to be happy, healthy, and have full tummies. I explained that it is a lot like when she makes a picture for me at school that she works hard on. I asked her how she would feel if I looked at the picture and said, “that’s ugly” and threw it in the trash. I then explained that when she complains about the food without even trying it, it makes me want to cry.
Of course, this was met with more complaining, and I thought it got nowhere. But, I noticed something. Over the next week or so, she stopped complaining. She actually started looking for something on her plate that she liked! For the first time in months, I was hearing “Yum, I like chicken!” instead of complaints!
So these two instances have caused me to take heart. My teaching is not falling on deaf ears the way it seems. They may not respond right away, but they are listening and learning! I can teach them!
I have seen this first hand recently.
One thing I have been working on is helping my children se all of the things they should be thankful for. For instance, when they are complaining about something I do not do for them that they want, I point out all that I do actually do for them. It usually does not work to stop the complaining.
But apparently it is working after all.
A couple of weeks ago we were coming home from church. Miss M was overly tired for some reason, and she wanted me to open a door for her, but daddy did it. She started to wail as if we had taken away her favorite teddy bear. I overheard Miss N say, “But M, think of all the good things mom does for you!”
A similar issue is complaining about dinner. I am not sure if I did this out of the right heart attitude, but one day I had had enough, and my gentle reminders to not complain were getting nowhere. So, I made it very clear to her that God hates complaining, and then I told her exactly how it made mommy feel. I explained that cooking is hard work and something I do because I love my family and want them to be happy, healthy, and have full tummies. I explained that it is a lot like when she makes a picture for me at school that she works hard on. I asked her how she would feel if I looked at the picture and said, “that’s ugly” and threw it in the trash. I then explained that when she complains about the food without even trying it, it makes me want to cry.
Of course, this was met with more complaining, and I thought it got nowhere. But, I noticed something. Over the next week or so, she stopped complaining. She actually started looking for something on her plate that she liked! For the first time in months, I was hearing “Yum, I like chicken!” instead of complaints!
So these two instances have caused me to take heart. My teaching is not falling on deaf ears the way it seems. They may not respond right away, but they are listening and learning! I can teach them!
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