Why Why Why????

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Sometimes I feel I get frustrated too easily. This was the conversation we had after we saw a big gorilla balloon decorating a neighborhood (it was part of the Parade of Homes is the only thing I could figure out)

Natalie: Look Mom, a big giant monkey!

Mom: Yes, that's pretty neat.

Natalie: Why is it there?

Mom: I don't know.

Natalie: But why did they put it there?

Mom: Natalie, Mommy knows nothing about the gorilla. All I know is that it is there and it is a balloon. I do not know why it is there.

Then we talked about how fun it would be to have a giant gorilla in our yard.

On the way home we passed it again.

Natalie: Why is there a gorilla there?

SERIOUSLY? Does she think I suddenly, magically learned the reason?

Mom: Natalie, let me explain this to you. I do not know anything about the gorilla other than where it is and what it is. I do not know why it is there.

Natalie: But mommy, why is it there?

Mom: I don't know

Natalie: Why don't you know?

that is how my typical day goes. I am expected to know everything about everything and "I don't know," which I only say when I really don't know, is not an acceptable answer.

Here's another example:

Mommy: Oh man, I almost forgot to stop and get the payroll.

Natalie: Why?

Mommy: I just did.

Natalie: But why did you forget?

Mommy: I didn't actually forget, I just almost forgot.

Natalie: But why?

Seriously? There isn't a reason to forget something. It just happens. I have told her SO MANY TIMES "People just forget/make mistakes sometimes"

I love that my child is interested in the world, but I have got to find another question she can ask before Tim and I both go CRAZY!

Comments

Janna said…
I think it's her attempt to carry on a conversation with you. If she keeps asking why? She keeps getting a response.

Maybe if you said I don't know why the gorilla is there but can you pretend and think of a reason?

Of course she could say Why do you want to pretend:) mommy?

If she asks why did you forget you could say I was thinking about other things. Can you gues what I was thinking about? Maybe if you throw a question her way the ball will be in her court and she can have a real conversation with you.
September 17, 2009 at 1:32 AM
mohoelx said…
I dunno if it's a good idea or not, but my dad always said "to make little boys like you ask questions!"

...but I do like Janna's idea of answering the question with a question - instead of seeing you as the one with all the answers, this could help her to think / reason critically, as well as use her imagination (not that she lacks imagination!)
September 17, 2009 at 5:15 AM
MommaHarms said…
Janna, I have tried hte question angle, and I have tried the imagination angle, and she will NOT let it go. When she wants to know why, she won't let up until I answer or get frustrated. It's developed into a habit, but we are working on it and talking about alternative questions. Maybe someday we can carry on a conversation without the why questions.
September 17, 2009 at 6:12 AM
Anonymous said…
I think you are thinking too hard about this. Kids her age are going to ask questions upon questions and, yes, even the infamous "Why?".
Instead of trying to solve Natalie's "problem" why don't you instead try to remember that you're talking to a THREE year old and not an adult. You cannot cure her of this. Just try enjoying being a mom. If you didn't know BEFORE you had a baby that she would someday turn into a toddler with multitudes of questions, well, now you do. And you'll face the same inquisitive stage with each of your children. Its part of being a mom. Be thankful. Thousands of women would gladly take your place in a heartbeat; likewise, so would thousands of hurting children.
September 17, 2009 at 8:40 AM
MommaHarms said…
Anon, I am thankful. Would you mind letting me know who you are? I was just expressing a little frustration. I believe in answering my children's questions, and that is what makes this so frustrating because if I do not know the answer or cannot answer a question, she becomes angry, screams, and cries. I am working on finding better ways for us to communicate so she can talk to me and I can answer her, without this frustration.
September 17, 2009 at 10:11 AM
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