I put it off all weekend.
The task was too monumental, too difficult, too stressful.
Every time I thought of it, I got that almost sick feeling in my stomach. What would they think? Was I asking too much?
Finally, I could put it off no longer. It was Monday, and I had to do it.
What was this task?
Make a phone call. To someone I had never met. To ask about a tax related question.
Surprised? If you know me, you probably aren’t.
I am terrified of the phone.
Why? I’m not sure. I would rather give blood than talk on the phone, unless I know the person I’m calling and have called them before so I know that it’s not an interruption.
Where does this fear come from? I have no idea. I was probably a junior in high school before I was comfortable calling friends, and usually only if it was pre-arranged. Calling a friend out of the blue? Nope, not me!
So today I picked up the phone and called D. Carlson at Miss M’s school to ask for the employee identification number and my total I paid this year for her to go to school. I want that tax deduction, and that was the only way to get it. I paced the entire time I talked to her. I stuttered when I talked to the receptionist to ask for her.
And you know what? She didn’t mind in the least. She was very helpful and nice about it. I think it’s not the first time someone had requested that information.
So, I stressed all weekend for nothing.
And most of the time, that’s how it is. I have a client who likes to discuss work over the phone rather than through email. I hate that. Hate it. The days I’m expecting him to call, I can’t focus on a thing all morning. Yet the call usually goes well.
I had a friend who was going through a difficult time and I wanted to call her and see if I could help with watching kids or just praying. I emailed. I texted. I took a week before I called. Probably I could have been a help earlier in the week, but I was too scared to call. What if I was interrupting her at work? What if she didn’t want to talk about it? Those were the things I was thinking.
Yet, my friend who called after I lost the baby just to see how I was, I appreciated that more than I could say. Even though I didn’t want to talk, and she was fine with that, it meant a lot that she thought of me. So why can’t I return the favor?
So how do you cure phone-o-phobia? I’m not sure. I guess I will always be a little trepidatious about picking up that thing and calling someone out of the blue. But I will keep trying.
I have a friend who also has a similar dislike for the phone. She has said before that she knows she is walking in the Spirit when she makes phone calls. I guess that’s a good way to look at it. Maybe I need to walk in the Spirit more often.
For now, the deed is done, and back to work I go!
Mercy: Help When We Are Weak
6 months ago