Sunday morning I was helping Miss N get ready for rest time. I was removing some dirty tissues from her nightstand by her bed, when I discovered her glasses, which were broken, carefully hidden underneath them. She has two pairs, and earlier that day I had noticed that she changed and found it odd, but didn’t think anything else of it.
Swallowing my first instinct to get upset, I asked her if she had broken them, realizing her sister could very easily have been the culprit, and she admitted to it. After coming to the conclusion that she was not doing anything wrong and it was an accident, I then asked her why she hid them instead of telling me. She looked down at the floor and said, “I thought you would be disappointed in me.”
After assuring her that I love her no matter what she does, even if she did something really bad, I would still love her. I also explained that telling mommy right away, rather than trying to cover up the problem, is always better. Even if I am upset, and I going to be more upset if she doesn’t tell me.
This episode made me feel very sad. Why didn’t my little girl feel like she could tell me when she made a mistake? Am I that hard on her that she thought I would be upset over a simple accident? Or was her vocalizing, “I thought you’d be disappointed” really the truth? I never wanted to disappoint my parents as a child, and she is very much like me. However, my gut tells me she thought I would be angry.
Which brings me to one of two things I learned from this event, which I have been thinking on and praying over since Sunday afternoon (not a long period of time, I realize). First, I need to be more careful in my approach with this child. She has a sensitive heart, and I am too quick sometimes to assume she’s being naughty or acting out, when perhaps there is something I am not understanding that she is trying, in her own way, to communicate with me.
Then I got to thinking, how many times in my Christian life do I do what Miss N just did. I do something wrong that is disappointing to my heavenly Father, and instead of going to him in humble prayer asking for forgiveness, I instead try to cover my sin and hide it. I’m not saying Miss N was wrong in breaking her glasses, because it was an accident, but the principle is the same. As much love as I have for my daughters pales in comparison for the love the Father has for me, yet so often I hide my problems from Him instead of seeking His forgiveness and restoration.
The glasses have been fixed already, and we have conversed a few more times about coming to mommy when something goes wrong, and hopefully the lesson will stick. I think a lesson is sticking with me too, and it’s time to reevaluate some of my parenting habits and realign them with God’s word and the way in which my Father deals with me, His precious child.
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