Well, we have told, we have told the girls, and now I wonder if we did the right thing. Sure, there was a beating heart, but really, I saw nothing that looked like a baby. Now, I have read about women who had losses after seeing the beating heart.
Remember when I said that trusting God had to be a minute by minute thing? I am starting to have one of those days today. I think because the tiredness is not as intense, so I "feel" less pregnant. Maybe part of it is that it has been nearly a week since I have been to the doctor, heard good or bad news, etc. I cannot see what is going on inside me. I am having to give Him everything.
My biggest fear? Honestly, it's no longer how I will survive another loss should it happen. It's how I will tell my kids. Both of them are excited and are talking about "the news" as Miss N says and "You have a baby in your belly" as Miss M says.
Last night I had some signs of a possible complication. I called the doctor and at first they wanted me to go to the ER, then they changed their mind and said to come to the office first thing in the morning. I did. They did the ultrasound and the baby was there with it's little heart beating away (151). She did an exam as well and verified my concerns. At this point everything looks fine but because of the symptoms I am having, I have to be on modified rest until I reach 12 weeks. No lifting anything over 10 pounds and no heavy exercise. That's five more weeks! I am so thankful that the baby is looking great at this point, though.
Mercy: Help When We Are Weak
2 weeks ago