I have something on my mind and heart that I have been praying about for a while, but I decided last night during my quiet time to start praying much more specifically. While I do not desire to share on this blog the specifics of the request, it left me to think.
Praying specifically is scary for me. It is easy to pray generically, “God, please be with such and such need and work it out in your timing and give grace.” Then, no matter what the answer, it was simply “God’s will.”
So why is praying specifically so scary?
Because God doesn’t always work on our time table, and I know that. I have seen that. A sweet friend who lost her foster child to the system showed me that very, very clearly a few years ago. Other friends who are battling diseases and not yet seeing healing have shown me that.
The bible even says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Is 55:9)
Yet, I always hear that we are to pray specifically. In thinking about it, though, I cannot think of a particular verse that says so. I can think of “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” But that does not necessarily say what the “much” is.
So am I wrong to pray very specifically? Am I wrong to ask God for something in, well, my time frame, while readily acknowledging His ways are best? I know He has the power to grant this desire, but I am beginning to wonder if He has the desire to do so.
I guess deep down in my heart, I am afraid of what I will feel if God says “no.”
Yet, I know God wants to know our desires, and we should bring our requests before Him, so for now, I will pray specifically.
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