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Showing posts from June, 2010

Like Mother, Like Daughter?

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When I was a little girl, I loved summer. I remember making habitats for rolly pollies (pill bugs) in the cracks in my grandparents' patio. I remember digging for hours in the ant hill behind my house looking for the queen aunt with Jessica, the little girl across the street. I wanted a real, working ant farm, and was so disappointed that the ants I got with the kit did not include a queen. We were going to start a "bug club" with the other neighborhood children, just like it said in my library book. I remember my thrill when we found our first caterpillar, Natalie and me, last summer. We watched it for a while. This little girl, my beautiful, growing up way to fast daughter: She is nothing like me. Well she is like me in many, many ways, but not when it comes to the creepie crawlies. We found a couple of fireflies yesterday on a walk. I caught one and told her that she could hold it if she wanted. Her response? "No thank you, I'm never ever ever ever ever g

Feed Me Books - Feed Me Kisses!

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This video shows one of Miss M's favorite books, Counting Kisses by Karen Katz. I'm not a huge fan of counting books, even though I know that they are developmentally helpful, but I do very much enjoy interacting with my baby. She usually melts into fits of giggling by the end of the book. That didn't quite happen here, but you can see how much fun we are having. This is my first vlog. I decided to get over my insecurities, because this book is best seen read. I'm not the best vlogger, I don't have editing software, and I didn't take the time to add a bunch of makeup, so here we are as we always are in the Harms Household. This post is part of Feed Me Books Friday at The Adventure of Motherhood. To learn more, click the link below:

To do Therapy, Or Not to Do Therapy

Megan had a hearing test yesterday. She passed. I’ve been concerned with her hearing because of her many ear infections as a baby and her poor speech. Natalie was a slow talker. I had her evaluated by the early intervention program at Miss M’s age and she would have qualified had she not been a preemie. Now, she talks like she’s sixteen. Miss M qualifies for speech therapy because she wasn’t a preemie. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do. Part of my heart tells me she’s fine and just a slow bloomer like N. But part of me has some very real concerns. There are certain sounds that she just doesn’t make, and she’s made up words for some words. Instead of saying wa-wa for water, she says “ung.” That doesn’t sound like water, nor use any of the sounds in the word water. There are other words, but that’s the most obvious. Her teachers at Mom’s Day Out have expressed concern. She is picking up a lot of new words this month and starting to put together even three-word sentences,

My World Changes Forever - First Grade

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Hello! I'm participating in a fun project called Mommy's Piggy Tales , where we record our youth in 15 posts. This is post three. You can read Post 1 Here and Post 2 Here . For more information, click the button at the bottom of the post. (Cabbage Patch TWINS with one that HELD A CRAYON - Can you tell how excited I was? I still have these dolls. . .) I don’t remember much about first grade. Trying to think of a highlight was difficult. Let’s see. . . The end of kindergarten, beginning of first grade marked a huge upset to my little only child, mostly only grandchild world. See, when I was 5 ½ (I turned 5 in the January of my kindergarten year), my brother, Joey, was born. I remember little about my mom’s pregnancy and the birth of my brother. I do remember people asking me what I wanted the baby to be, and I answered, “I don’t care, as long as it is healthy.” I think I must have heard my mom saying something similar. But, secretly, I wanted a sister. Someone to play ponies an

Lacking Discipline

Why do I lack discipline? I need to lose weight. I’ve been REALLY (really) good about running at least three times a week, and for me that’s HUGE, but it’s not really translating into weight loss, and I find that discouraging. Total, I’ve lost three pounds since I started running. But, when it comes to food, I simply can’t seem to be disciplined. It’s not that I sit and pig out all of the time. But, the foods I do eat are not the healthiest. I never dreamed in my life I would be as heavy as I am, but alas, here it is. I am tired of hating the way I look. I am tired of not being able to find clothes that don’t make me look like a moose. I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of my four year old asking me if there is a baby in my tummy (there’s not, for the record). Yet, all of this being tired doesn’t stop me from picking up the junk food or downing a pop. I need to get our family back on a budget. Preschool is starting in just a couple of months, and I need to figure out how we w

Preschool: Life Changing Years

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I have been thinking since last week about what to write when it comes to preschool. I am participating in a fun project put on by my friend Janna at Mommy's Piggy Tales. Check it out! There are so many options. I could write about my imaginary friend, Polk-a-Roo, who I was actually a little afraid of. I could write about losing my favorite My-Little-Pony, Firefly, in the sandbox when some mean boys buried it at preschool. I could write about my only child, only grandchild years before my brother came along. I could write about my first “best friend,” the girl across the street (Klaire), who I sobbed over when it was time to move away. I could write about all of those things, but the truth is my preschool years are some of the most important of my life. See, my parents wanted me to be a “good person.” To reach that goal, they started going to church. Not long after they started attending church, something happened that would change the course of my life forever. My parents

Handling Disappointment

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(Pictures were taken by Dan Moore of Dan Moore Designs ) Disappointment. It’s something we all regularly face, yet never quite learn to like. Today, I had the opportunity to ponder how to teach my oldest about disappointment. Our church is running Vacation Bible School. Part of the program involves kids getting tickets for good behavior. While Miss N was not behaving badly, she did not get chosen today for a ticket. It’s just the way these things go sometimes. Children also earn prizes for bringing visitors, but since the program is technically open to those leaving kindergarten, and our friends are all in preschool, that won’t work either. At the end of the session when the children who earned tickets were lining up for prizes, I could see the tears starting. Miss N LOVES candy and stuffed animals, which were the main prizes being offered. Being only four, she really didn’t understand why just some of the kids got candy. ( Dan Moore Designs ) Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to handl

My Story Begins

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I am participating in a really fun project that is the brainchild of my friend Janna, who regularly blogs at The Adventure of Motherhood . Her project, entitled Mommy's Piggy Tales , encourages moms to blog about their childhood in 15 weeks. Here is the button if you want to learn more or consider joining. My dad, my mom, and me. My daughter, N, has that quilt now. Every year for Christmas my brother and I received our very own holiday ornament. Starting with the “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament, these ornaments usually reflected something we accomplished or did during the soon-to-be-past year. For example, the year I got my driver’s license, my ornament was Daffy Duck in a shiny new car. Every year we enjoyed putting “our” ornaments on the tree. It was a wonderful time to reflect back over our lives and the memories we had made. Sometimes we asked the reason behind the ornament, and learned a little more about our histories. When I married, I got a box with my ornaments in i

How Is This Appropriate

I'm mad. And a simple Facebook status update is not sufficient. Today we went to the park for Natalie's YMCA sports class. A grand time was had by all of the preschoolers. It's really a great program. Next to the field where they play is a playground. On the playground a daycamp was playing. When we were done with class, we headed over to the playground, as is our ritual for this class. While Natalie was swinging, I watched a boy, maybe nine or ten, lay down on the ground. A girl around the same age kneeled next to him and gave him quite a nice, long back massage (they were still at it when we left). Another boy saw this and ordered a girl near him to do the same. Ok , I am a bit old-fashioned when it comes to boy-girl interactions. I went to a college where we had the "six-inch" rule between dating couples, and I remember chanting "No PC at TC" all the time in High School (you will only understand that if you went to my high school, and no, I'

The Blogosphere and Mommy Guilt

EDITED TO ADD: I just want to say that this post is not about other bloggers, it's about me. While some bloggers I've read do seem to put on a front, a friend graciously reminded me that most are just moms like me doing the best they can. This post is intended to be a reflection on what the blogosphere does to me as a mom by amplifying the inadequacies I already feel. It's not bloggers' faults, it's the nature of the media, and perhaps my own personal problem. I feel the same way reading some mom's Facebook posts and twitters (when I used to do Twitter). Upon re-reading my post for the umpteenth time, I realize i might have come across wrong. For instance, I have no problem with blogging conventions, minimal problems with Twitter, and those who attend/use those venues. If a professional blogger read this and felt offended, please forgive me. I have much respect what you do, even if sometimes I wish I could see on your blog a messy house or tantrum-throwing tod

Feed Me Books: Two Library Favorites

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Last month when we were in KC for an extended visit, we raided my parents' local library for some books to read. Here is one we really liked: Princesses Are Not Quitters (Princesses Are Not...) (affiliate link) tells the story of three princesses who are bored. They see the servants, and think "They have all the fun, out there in the fresh air working." So they order the servants to change clothes with them, and they take on the role of servants for the day. Of course, being pampered princesses, they are horrible at working. But "Princesses are NOT quitters." so they plug on, in spite of missing all meals and working LATE into the night, they kept plugging on. The next day, they realize how hard the servants have it, and make a proclamation that ends up making their kingdom (or princessdom ) the happiest in the land. Oh, and they learn the value of hard work. Since we are in major princess mode with our four-year-old, this hit the spot! Good lesson learned,

Healing After Emotional Abuse

I realize I promised a series on emotional abuse, and then sort of stopped. Life got busy, and honestly I was having trouble putting my thoughts into words. I do want to finish it, even if no one is reading, so here are a few thoughts. If you are new to this discussion, start with the first post here and the second post here . I am realizing that healing after emotional abuse is not easy. I have said a few times since this has been brought to my attention that I honestly think emotional abuse is more damaging, or at least equally damaging, as physical. I think more because the physical abuse we readily admit is wrong. Deep down many abused women may think they are provoking the abuse, but they likely know that hitting, etc. is wrong. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is more subtle and less obvious. Because of the deep scars that emotional abuse causes, healing is not easy. I think many assume, “Good, she is away from her abuser, she is fine now.” This is NOT true. In talking with

Lots of Firsts

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As the parent of two children under the age of five, I'm living in the land of "firsts." First teeth, first steps, first friends, first time at the zoo. Lots of firsts. I'm not one to sweat the firsts. If I miss one, it's sad, but not too sad. I can move on. There are so many firsts. I do love seeing them though. We had two firsts this week. Miss M moved to the "big girl" bed. How different life of the second child is. With Miss N we moved her bed into her room so she could "get used to it" for a few days. Then we let her choose which one to sleep in before finally putting her in the other bed and moving the crib out. This after much deliberation as to whether or not it was "time." Miss M, on the other hand, had little pomp or circumstance. Tim and I discussed over instant message at lunch time whether it was time after something rather unsafe happened in the crib, moved the bed up, and plopped her in it at bedtime. I wasn't e

Overwhelmed

Psalm 61:2 "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." I know I'm not the only mom to ever feel this way. But sometimes I feel overwhelmed. The pressure to be perfect is tremendous. For example, today I read an article about how sunscreen probably causes cancer, but not putting on sunscreen also causes cancer, so then what is a mom supposed to do? I have a very successful home-based business. No one ever told me that running a home-based business meant your home would be a disaster and you would be constantly tired. In an effort to rid myself of unwanted pounds and get myself in better physical shape, I've taken up running. I love it. But it's yet another thing on my "to do" list. This morning I read my friend Janna's blog post entitled Then Things to Remember During Responsibility Overload . Her list is great. The last one got me thinking, though. How do you take

Signs of Abuse

Do you think abuse is obvious? Do you think you would know if your close friend or relative was regularly being abused? I did, and boy was I wrong! In my continuing desire to open our eyes to verbal abuse (if you are late to the discussion, click here for the first post), I want to briefly blog about some of the signs I saw. I am keeping this vague to protect the privacy of those I love, and also remember that I am drawing from two situations. Here are some signs I as an outsider saw, and sadly did not recognize: Unnatural desire to do what husband wants – As wives we want to please our husbands. However, when that desire becomes too strong or the wife does something she would normally never do or feels is wrong, there may be an underlying cause. In this case, she often seems uneasy or frantic when he asks her to do something because if she is not fast enough or does not do it correctly he will get angry with her. Change physical features for husband – Not "because he thought