Showing posts from November, 2011

Refreshing Holiday

What a refreshing Thanksgiving we had! We traveled to KC to be with my family, including my brother and his fiance, my dad's parents, and my mom's mom. There were 11 total people for Thanksgiving dinner! My girls were so well behaved, they adored Jen (Joey's fiance) and I felt like we really got to relax. I took minimal work with me so it was great! I am thankful we had the chance to get to know Joey's fiance a little better, as we likely will not see them again until the July wedding. The girls are so excited about being flower girls! (this picture cracks me up - we were playing Mad Gab) While we were there we went to Crown Center. Miss N saw a sign for Seussical, a musical dedicated to Dr. Seuss. She asked if we could go, and we found out that the Saturday performance would gain us one free ticket. We got the tickets and I am so glad we did (thanks mom and dad)! It was adorable. This play (I think there are more than one) was based on the Horton books (Horton Hears

Family Traditions

When I was five years old we moved completely across the country from California to Massachusetts. All of our family was in California. For the first time ever, it was just us. Holiday traditions had to be just our little nuclear family. We didn't know other people to invite into our home to share the day with us when we first moved. It was just us. My mom was amazing at creating traditions. We watched parades, ate certain things, read certain stories, decorated our home with our preschool artwork, set up the tree after Thanksgiving and pulled it down before my birthday in January. She really had a knack for making things special. Sometimes, I think I have failed my own children in this regard. It's not that I don't want to have traditions, it's just that holidays are spent bouncing back and forth between different family's homes. It is hard to bring traditions with you when you are spending Christmas in Missouri or when Christmas schedules are dictated by your n

13 weeks

How far along? 13 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: Crazy, crazy dreams. Last night I dreamed that my SIL was adopting a baby, and I found out in her annual Christmas letter. I told Tim and he said, "I know, I've known for five weeks." I was so livid that I started screaming, crying, and hitting him. I was mad that he kept a secret from me. Best moment this week: Going almost the whole week without needing a nap. Movement: Too early Gender: Unknown. I think I have come to peace with either way, honestly. I just wish people would stop pushing me with "I bet you are hoping for a boy!" Makes it hard to stay focused on being content with a healthy baby, regardless of gender. Labor Signs: No way! What I miss: Not having to eat constantly. What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving trip to visit family Weekly Wisdom: Praying in the morning, even just for 5 minutes, focuses my mind and helps me be much more patient with my kids. Milestones: Dependin

Laughing at the Dinner Table

Last night I was laughing so hard I nearly snorted my roll! Before I get into the story, here is a little setup. We have one child who is particularly interested in saying the word "poopie." I decided I did not want her saying this word all of the time, so I have tried to be consistent in saying that it is a word to be used in the bathroom. Last night this child had to use the bathroom during dinner. If you have been to our house then you know that we can see the bathroom from our dinner table. She went in and was sitting on the potty proudly proclaiming "poopie! poopie! poopie!" Daddy told her she needed to finish and come back to the table and stop saying poopie, to which she replied "But I in the bafroom, so it OK say poopie!" Then, she shut the door. "You can't see me! Poopie! Poopie! Poooooooopeeeeeeeee!" She continued to say the beloved word and giggle her head off for about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, we were all, big sister included

On Being Pro-Life

I am pro-life. I believe that opting to kill your baby in the womb is murder. While I do not believe that to be any “worse” of a sin than, say, lying in the eyes of God, it is still wrong. Yet, I allowed the doctor to kill my baby. Honestly, I still feel guilt about that. Growing up, all of the pro-life discussions and sermons I heard would ridicule laws that said, “except for cases to save the life of the mother.” I believed with my entire being that God was the only one who had a right to decide whether the mom or the baby should live. I believed, and still do, that moms who choose not to pursue cancer treatment, for instance, in order to save their baby’s life did the right thing. But what about a situation where God decides the baby cannot live simply by where the baby implants? What about an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy? This is a situation where the ending the pregnancy is necessary to preserve the life and future fertility of the mother. If the situation is caught early, like it

One Year Ago

One year ago . . . . . . . I sat in the doctor’s office, breathlessly waiting in hopes they would give me an ultrasound to see my unborn child for the first time. . . . I winced in pain as she did the exam. . . . I heard the words, “I just don’t see anything.” . . . I was assured it was probably too early, but I knew better. . . . The suggestion that maybe I was having twins, one viable one not, was presented. . . . I left the doctor’s office confused, scared, and unsure of where to turn. . . . I began a process of waiting, hoping, and praying. . . . I loved my baby as much as I could as I waited. A year and three days ago . . . . . . I received a phone call that shook me to my core. . . . I sat in a hospital room waiting to sign permission to kill my baby. . . . I received a dose of chemotherapy. . . . I desperately asked God “why?” but felt no answer. . . . I dropped my kids off with friends for a pre-arranged sleepover. SO thankful for that time. Little did we know wh

Watch Your Language!

This is a general service announcement. If you are the type of person who feels it is OK to use vulgar words in public, including f-bombs and such, you have a responsibility to determine whether or not there are small children standing directly next to you before you do. If you decide to drop an f-bomb and those children happen to be mine, I will say something. This momma does not appreciate hearing people curse around my babies. I do not care if someone dented your car. I do not care if you are angry. I do not care. They are innocent children and you have no business talking like that in front of them. Thank you, Upset momma. (I cannot believe how many people have no qualms about swearing in front of their children. It makes me so sad. However, should you choose to swear in front of mine, I will stand up for them.)

12 Week Appointment

Ok, you all know how scared I was that there would be bad news today. Amazingly, I was very calm when the time came for today. All day I was calm. At my appointment, my bp was up. Not sure if it was because I was nervous or what, but my doctor seemed a little concerned and said, "We wll have to keep an eye on this." It was 134/78, which isn't that bad, right? The weight check was great! I only gained half a pound in four weeks! That is a total of 4 pounds the entire pregnancy so far. I am very happy with this. I tend to gain a lot early on. Maybe my inability to eat sweets is helping! The doctor told me right away that she was going to try to hear the heartbeat, but that it might not be possible yet. She was not able to hear it. Again, I was amazingly calm. I think having the girls there was a good distraction. So, I had an ultrasound. I don't think I have seen any of my babies at 12 weeks. It was amazing. There were little feet and arms. Miss N thought it was pre

12 Weeks

Well, I Was going to wait until tomorrow and what WILL be a good doctor's visit, but I had some extra time today so here is my update! I cannot believe I am now 3 months pregnant, and I also cannot believe so many women wait this long to tell their news! I am taking the girls to my appointment tomorrow. I could drop them somewhere, but it woudl be very inconvenient with a 4:00 appointment, and, well, their presence or lack of presence will not change the outcome of my appointment. I have no reason at all to think anything is wrong, so I am going to embrace faith and take them along. How far along? 12 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: Definitely not the best this week. Best moment this week: Enjoying some time on the old treadmill. Movement: Too early Gender: Unknown Labor Signs: No way! What I miss: Being able to walk without getting winded. I really think it's too early for this but others have said they experienced it early. I still plan to ask about it. .


I was just reading a blog post from a friend who has had two recent miscarriages, and was reading the encouraging comments from her readers. Yet again, I found in one of those comments someone who had seen the heartbeat from their baby at 6 and 8 weeks, then had the baby die at 12 weeks. This makes the third or fourth similar story I have read in the last week. Is God trying to tell me something, or is Satan trying to get in my head? I am not looking for these stories, but they keep finding me! Friday's appointment cannot come soon enough! Please, keep praying for our little baby.

I Need to Get on the Computer

So, last night we were cleaning up, and afterwards the girls were wrestling downstairs. Miss N said, "Hang on, I need to get on the computer for a minute. I need to write 10 articles." She sat down at her computer and typed a bit then went back to playing. At first I smiled. This is what mommy does, and she was mimicking mommy. Then I worried (surprised?). Do I work too much? Was she saying that mommy is always working? This balance is so hard. I want to be a good mom - the best mom. But i have to work. I try to work when they are sleeping and do not need me, but as they get older this is not always possible. Sometimes, I have to work while they self entertain. And, to be honest, I don't think that is bad. I don't remember my mom sitting on the floor playing with me constantly. I was playing with the neighbor girl, making mud pies outside, riding my bike, doing art. Since we don't have a neighbor girl to play with, my girls have each other. And that's OK.


This is a bit of a hodgepodge post. Today. . . My children got up from quite time, watched a short video, then played dollhouse. Dollhouse consisted of of setting up scenes and taking pictures of them using their kid tough camera. My oldest helped me pick up toys with a happy spirit, willingly asking, "what should I pick up next mom?" We went outside to get some fresh air. I contemplated how far I want them to be able to go - if they can only ride their bikes in the driveway, how will they learn? We came inside and they sat and colored and played with stickers while I fixed supper. Now, they have sheet music out and are singing along with a Sunday School songs CD. They think they are reading music. These are the things I want to remember on my blog. Miss N is learning so much in kindergarten and loving every minute of it! Every day she is more than happy to show me what she has learned. I love it! I am not really sure who her "best friends" are going t

11 Weeks

OK, blogfriends , I am going to be honest. I am starting to get worried again. I mean, it's been three weeks since i have seen/heard the baby. And, not at all intentionally, but in my working and surfing lately I have read about at least three women who saw the heartbeat at 6-7 weeks, then had the baby die. I have no reason to think anything is wrong, but I am scared! I wish I had a different personality and could just let whatever will be, well, be. I have an appointment on the 11 th . This many weeks between appointments is torture! So, anyways, here is the 11 week update. How far along? 11 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Tim vetoed an outfit tonight because he said it made me look 30 weeks pregnant. Oye . Sleep: Not too bad. Best moment this week: Eating a tiny bit of chocolate and not getting sick! Movement : Too early Gender : Unknown Labor Signs : No way! What I miss : Having a neck that does not ache. What I am looking forward to: Appointment next week. We

Best of Friends

My two girls really are the best of friends, and I love it! We have our moments (don't all siblings?) but if you get right down to it, they love each other deeply. On Saturday we were playing in the leaves. The first time Tim threw N in, she sunk down past her head. She thought it was hilarious, but M was so upset about losing her sister! I thought it was so sweet how concerned she was. Sunday night N was not feeling well so we let her stay home. I had nursery duty in the morning service so I took M to church so I could hear some preaching, and Tim stayed home with N so she could rest. When we got home the first thing M did was run to her sister for a big hug! This morning after everyone got up and got the grumpies from first thing in the morning out of the way, they went skipping down the hall holding hands to help each other pick out fits. I love moments like this! I remember wishing for boys, with both of my pregnancies, but I am so thrilled to be raising sisters and best f