Harms Family News

I sit here, fingers on the keyboard, researching antioxidants, oral cancer and toothpaste.   She always has a tummy ache, maybe she needs to go gluten free like my mom.   I just heard the big one cough again, maybe she’s getting pneumonia again. We went a whole year without it, I was hoping for longer.   She’s going under anesthetic, my baby. Are we doing the right thing? Is this cough really that important.   Type type, research research, yet my mind gets noisy again.   Am I giving them enough attention? I’ve been working a lot, and they are fighting a lot, maybe I am not doing this right.   Man, that election was killer. Will my kids know the freedom of carrying a Bible if they want? Should we buy a gun while we still can?   Focus. Type. Research.   Did I make enough this month? Christmas is coming, and Florida. Will we be good, or should I work a little more tonight? What if the work stops flo...

So, I wanted to put it down here even though it's already been on Facebook. Miss C has had this strange cough since she was born. At first, her pediatrician and I thought it was a cold because Miss M gave her a lovely kiss right on the lips the day I brought her home, and she had a cold at the time. But, week after week it never really went away, and she never really acted "sick." The cough sounds exactly like a croup cough. Most of the time if someone doesn't know her and hears her doing it, like at the grocery store, they tell me she's got croup. But, you cannot have croup for five months. Her pediatrician suggested that it was probably a floppy larynx and we should keep an eye on it unless it gets worse. Then, she started having a lot of stridor, which is this strange whistling type noise that is not wheezing and is quite loud. We joke that she sounds like a seal or a goose. Well, it did not get better, and if anything got worse. I called the doctor...

So, I have been bitten with a new dream. And I just can't get it out of my head. What is holding me back? My own insecurities. My own worries that I won't be "good enough." My own perfectionist fear that I might fail. But, I think, this time, I am not going to let it hold me back. Because I think, this time, it's time for a change, and this might just be it. So stay tuned. Something new is in the works. . . I think.

Four years (and one month) ago, God blessed us with this 10 lb. 4 oz bundle of energy. Miss M, one day old Miss M, one year old Miss M, two years old Miss M, three years old. Miss M, four years old On July 31, my middle child turned four. All of the commotion of the end of summer, getting her birthday party in, and then school starting and working like crazy have made me forget to do her birthday post. So, without further ado, here is a bit about Miss M. During her fourth year, she learned: Her letters and sounds How to whistle How to snap (these two are much to the displeasure of the bigger sister who cannot yet do them) How to face her fears of inflatable jumping houses and VBS Became a big sister, a roll she embraces with zeal Learned to pedal a bike Said a line in a school program, without tears! Miss M is a go getter. She knows what she wants, and she does not wait for permission or help to achieve ...

The weight of a tiny head, nestled against my chest. The miniature fist, clenching a portion of my shirt. The rhythmic breathing, interrupted by a faint flutter sucking on a pacifier. The soft, nearly invisible eyelashes, gently closing against deep blue eyes. These are the memories I wish I could burn into my mind, the feelings I wish I could memorize to warm my heart on cold, difficult days. If I could freeze time, it would be at this moment. For I know all too soon, your tiny feet will be pounding the floor, chasing after your big sisters. I know that before I am ready, your rosebud mouth, so quick to open into a wide smile at the sight of my face, will instead form questions that I do not have answers to. As I hold you and rock you to sleep, I feel that invisible force creeping into the room. Time. Time that is waiting to rob me of your fleeting infancy, as it did with your sisters. Time that is pushing you, willing you to grow, and all I can do is watch. Try as I m...

Wow, how time flies. It's already been two months with our precious C. I have told so many people that Miss C must know she is a third-born child, because she is the easiest baby ever. In fact, the few times she is fussy, I barely know what to do because it is so rare. Both big sisters are completely enamored with her. Miss N (6) told me yesterday "I wish C could stay a baby forever. She's the cutest baby ever. I just love her so much." Miss M (almost 4) will repeatedly sing to her and coo at her and even at times overly love her to the point I have to separate them. This precious babe is everything I could have ever wished for in a third and final child. She is so happy, laid back and beautiful. She smiles at everyone and everything, loves her sisters and daddy almroeady so much, and has a "go with the flow" kind of personality. There is one strange thing that has been going on with her. Shortly after she was born I noticed this strange barking cough....

The surgery to deliver Carlie Grace was scheduled for Thursday, May 17 at 12:30 pm. I was not a happy camper about this time, seeing as how I could have nothing to eat or drink since midnight the night before. That’s not so bad if your surgery is at 7 in the morning, but noon? On the way to the hospital, I realized that I just didn’t like the name we had picked. So, we changed it. I thought naming Miss M two days before she was born was bad, but this baby was named on the way to the hospital! We arrived at the hospital two hours before the surgery as requested, only to be informed that an emergency c-section had delayed our surgery time by a couple of hours. We were ushered into this huge room to wait. The room, which was actually larger than the surgery room, had a bed and IV supplies in one corner, a closet in the other corner for other supplies, and in the third corner was a toilet. The toilet was not in a separate room. No, it was simply separated from the rest of t...

Today, I had my last prenatal appointment with my wonderful doctor. It was short and sweet. Baby didn't pass the NST but she passed the long ultrasound so no worries. She's head down, contractions have begun, and she could come any time between now and my scheduled surgery Thursday. I am feeling a tad emotional. This has been a very long, drawn out process. I am so grateful that none of the horrible complications that she was watching for happened. Sometimes, I feel a little foolish for being worried now that we are "done" (although there is still a risk of developing HELLPS or Pre-eclampsia in me after delivery), but when you have been down that path before, it is hard not to remember everything when similar things start happening. Baby is almost here. I am almost ready to hold her in my arms. I have been longing for this day since November of 2010 when we said goodbye to our last baby so suddenly and so unnaturally. There have been so many emotional ups and down...

Dear Baby, We are so ready to meet you! In just a few short days, you will be here. You have a family waiting to greet you with open arms, a daddy ready for you to wrap around his little finger, and two big sisters who are waiting to teach you all about fancy shoes, princesses, and ponies. Most of all, you have a mommy who cannot wait to hold you. I have been waiting for this day for two long years, ever since your little brother or sister was taken from me so unexpectedly. You are loved, you are wanted, you are treasured, and you are not even here yet. I am ready to breathe that sigh of relief when you are finally here, safe and sound, and complications are no longer a concern. The doctor says you have a lot of hair. You look chubby in your pictures. I envision you look like your big sister Miss M, more so than Miss N. Will you have brilliant blue eyes like M, piercing, thoughtful gray-blue eyes like N, or green eyes like your momma? Will the name we have chosen for you fit? I...

Here it is. My last pregnancy update. I don't think I will make one next week with baby coming the day after. It's been a long, somewhat eventful pregnancy, and I cannot wait to meet this new little princess! I also cannot believe that she will be here NEXT WEEK! A week from tomorrow. At this point, all of the extra testing just seems silly, but I suppose it is worthwhile to ensure we are not missing something obvious at the very tail end of this process.  How far along? 38 weeks! Maternity clothes? Yes, and frankly, none of them fit. Miss N told me yesterday, "Um, mom, I think you need to get some longer shirts." Baby has dropped and it's hard to cover the belly up! Sleep: Not too shabby. Best moment this week: Spending the morning with my sad baby girl. She is much better now! And my bp did not spike. Movement: Steady and strong. Milestones: I think she is finally head down and planning to stay that way. Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Nothing ...

So, if you read my last update post, then you know that i have been put on modified bed rest, if you will. Basically, I am supposed to sit as much as possible, no grocery shopping, chores, etc. I can still leave the house, if need be, to go to church or pick up the kids from school, but that's it. This is hard. I  am not tallented enough to parent from the couch. My kids are not yet self sufficient enough to get much of what they need for themselves. So, this arrangement has forced me to find care options for them. And one of them is having a VERY hard time with it all. Yesterday, I had to go in to the hospital because I had a very high spike in BP. My in-laws came and got the girls and took them to church, and I was explaining what was happening. Miss M, my younger one, started sobbing. She just wants mommy. She just wants her normal routine. I buckled in my baby sobbing her head off, you know, the big chocking sobs. It was so hard. Then, this morning I was explaining the...

How far along? 36 weeks! Maternity clothes? Do you really have to ask? Sleep: Not too shabby. Best moment this week: Finding out my 24 hour test got better? I guess that means that all the complications are not making me ill. Oh, and getting a new gig that I think will be really good for the post-baby period when my schedule will be up in the air. Movement: Steady and strong. Milestones: All major organ work is done. Now she's just gaining weight. Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Contractions have actually slowed down. What I miss: Not getting told how huge I am by complete strangers. What I am looking forward to: Um, I guess my next appointment. I keep hoping she will decide we are in a safe enough zone and say let's have a baby :) Weekly Wisdom: I got nothing. Complications Update : So, they changed my medication dose, but it didn't have much of an effect. I am still spiking quite a bit later in the day. So, I am now on mostly bed rest. It's no...

How far along? 35 weeks! Maternity clothes? Yep! I had to try on four shirts this morning before I found one that would cover my bump with the capris I am wearing. Sigh. Sleep: Working too much. Best moment this week: When my doctor hinted we might not make it until May 17. Let's face it, the last month of pregnancy is not comfy. I wouldn't mind having this baby a couple of weeks early. Also, the way Miss M's face lit up when she thought I said the baby was coming out. She really, really wants to meet her baby sister. Movement: Remember how I said she wasn't moving as much. Yeah, well, she got over that. She was moving so much during my last NST that they had to keep repositioning the sensor and I had to wait forever before they got the reading they needed. Milestones: All major organ work is done. Now she's just gaining weight. Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Lots and lots of contractions, but not too uncomfortable. What I miss: Energy What I am looking forward...

How far along? 34 weeks! Miss N was born at 34 weeks, 1 day, which is today. I am so thankful to not be there at this point! But, I also feel very strongly that we are now in the "safe" zone. Maternity clothes? Yep. Getting down to only a few shirts that fit. I will NOT buy more! Sleep: Not enough. I'm cranky. Best moment this week: Got to see my doctor again. It's been like two weeks. I cracked up when I mentioned I was not impressed with the high risk doctor I saw last week. She went off on that doctor! Apparently she (the high risk doctor) doesn't have much of a reputation. Movement: She is definitely not moving as much. I have been doing kick counts which I never did with the other kids. Milestones: She's head down! Doesn't really matter since I am having a c-section but that means she's getting ready for birth! Gender: Girl Labor Signs: No signs of labor, but lots of practice contractions. They wear me out! What I miss: Feeling normal....

I think she is going to take after Miss M with that round face. Definitely filling out. Ok, so I missed a few weeks. It's been busy, what can I say? How far along? 33 weeks! In my first pregnancy I was in the hospital on horrible drugs and awaiting my girl's lungs to develop enough that they could deliver me. So thankful to be where I am right now! Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: Hot flashes, potty breaks, and crazy dreams mean poor sleep. normal at this stage in the game. Best moment this week: Um, the floors are done! Also, got a 3D picture of her sweet face. Movement: She is definitely not moving as much. No one but me seems worried by this. Milestones: Growth ultrasound showed her to be 5 lb, 1 oz, and they said I don't need to come back to the high risk ward. Still waiting to see if my doctor is done monitoring her growth. . . Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Contractions have started, at least I think that's what they are. Nothing regular, but I don't th...

I have two children, and most of the people who read this blog know them. One is petite, and one is not. That is why they are often mistaken for twins. The younger one is as tall as the older one, and unless someone has an unexpected growth spurt, she will be taller within a year or so. They are both healthy and at a good weight for themselves. I have asked the doctor about this. I have wondered about childhood obesity with my “big” child and failure to thrive with my “small” child, but they are both on their personal growth curves and have been for a while. He is happy with their growth. So, lately, I have been thinking about this. The younger child is always exclaimed over, “She can’t be three, she’s so big for three!” “Wow, she’s a big girl!” “Oh I thought she was five!” I wonder, do these comments sink in? We do not use the word “fat” in our house, even though I definitely could fall into that category. We talk about exercise and healthy food. We try to encourage h...

Last night the girls made up a basketball game. N would pass the ball to M across the living room, then M would dribble it to the front door and "shoot" it at the wall. I thought I heard N yell "Hoop it, hoop it M!" so I peeked my head in the room. Sure enough, N was cheering her sister on: "Dribble it, dribble it, now throw it. HOOP IT M! HOOP IT! Yeah! You hooped it!" This, of course, meant "shoot it." as in "shoot a basket." I was cracking up! Then this morning she tossed her jammies up on her top bunk, "Mommy, I love to hoop it!" You just keep hooping it sweet girl, and loving your life and your sister!

How far along? 31 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: Slept through the night two days in a row this week!!! Best moment this week: Finding out that my doctor still thinks we will go to term, just with lots of extra monitoring. Movement: Slowing down a little, but any time I get worried I can get her to move :) Milestones: On my babycenter week-by-week email I got notice that she should be about 3.3 pounds this week. She was 3.5 at my ultrasound three weeks ago. We grow 'em big! We also have a NAME! Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Nope. A few Braxton Hicks but they are going away. What I miss: My house not being a construction zone. Tim is working hard and doing a great job, but this flooring is taking longer than we thought it would! What I am looking forward to: Finishing this pregnancy. Weekly Wisdom: It's ok to relax sometimes. In fact, if you don't, your doctor may just prescribe it ;) Complications Update : Ok, so, my 24-hour test came back with proteins. T...

Miss M is excited about becoming a big sister. Here are a few quotes. "Mommy, da baby will cry, and I will give her a nuk nuk, a kiss, and a drink in her bottle. Then she not cry." "Mommy, the doctor gonna cut your belly like this (hand running across belly), take da baby out, then stick your belly back on. You gonna have an owie." (this after I explained how the baby comes out after she asked some fairly detailed questions. I explained both types of birth but this one is definitely easier for her to grasp at 3.)

How far along? 30 weeks. For some reason, this feels like a milestone. Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: So tired. Enough said. Best moment this week: At church Sunday the baby was moving so I took M's hand and put it on my tummy. Her face was so sweet. She got this look of wonder in her eyes and just smiled so big. I love that. Movement: Still very active. Milestones: passed the glucose test! Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Nope What I miss: My energy. Do you know where it went? What I am looking forward to: Not much. We are getting to have lots and lots of testing weekly from here on out. Oh boy! Weekly Wisdom: My children do not like me to cry. It makes them cry. Complications Update : Today my bp was up at my appointment, and I have had some higher readings this week. I can get them down if I sit for a while, but my life does not involve a lot of sitting. I have also been swelling some at night. SO my doctor is starting more aggressive testing. I have another 24-hour test to...

It wasn’t really a bad day. Just one of those days I question my decision to become a parent, and especially to become a mom of three. And one of those days that solidified my desire to be the mom of ONLY three. First, let’s set the stage. It all started with the time change. Now, my kiddos are older, and they have taken time changes in stride before. Not this time. This one has thrown them for a loop and they are just, shall we say, off. It doesn’t help that the great bunk bed transition has made for a little less sleep all around. They are adjusting beautifully to sharing a room, though. Add in a Monday. Mondays are hard. Sundays are busy, and we are tired on Mondays. This Mom-of-the-Year scheduled a checkup on a Monday. During quiet/nap time. Mistake #1. So, we pick up big sis from school and she is in a mood. Daddy warned us that she was tired when he dropped her off, and this was not a bit changed. After warning after warning that she will be laying down bef...

Five years ago tomorrow, I became a mother. Miss N arrived six weeks early and spent the first 13 days of her life in the NICU. I was a new mom who was unsure of everything, and she had the privilege of being my "guinea pig." In many ways she still is. :) She has grown into a smart, sassy, sensitive child who I love more than life itself. Thank you for introducing me to motherhood, sweet girl, and for growing into a sweet youngster. Natalie: One Year Old Natalie: Two Years Old Natalie: Three Years Old Natalie: Four Years Old! Natalie: Five years old! Natalie: Almost six years old At six, she is very grown up all of a sudden. She is questioning things and less willing to accept my answer as fact. It is challenging and exciting to see her become even more her own person with her own ideas. Here are some accomplishments over the last year: Starting kindergarten Becoming friends with her sister Learning to add Riding a bike (albeit with training wheels) Learning to ride a pony ...

Well, we are nearing the 3rd trimester. I think it is next week. The further along we go, the happier I am to still be pregnant and really fairly uncomplicatedly so. Here's the update for this week: How far along? 29 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: not so good this week due to a reaction to all of the dust in the air from our NEW FLOORING!!!!! Best moment this week: Taking my MIL and mom to the ultrasound. The tech was able to work with us to get some face shots even though baby is plastered up against my side. She is measuring in the 75th percentile at 3 lbs, 5 oz., which is ahead of target for her. The main concern with the high bp on the baby's end is her not growing, so she is growing well and that makes me happy. Movement: Still very active. At my last OB appointment they couldn't get the heart rate because she was moving so much (I blame the drink from the glucose test. . . Milestones: Not sure Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Nope What I miss: Not thinking about...

Tonight the baby had the hiccups and I was letting Miss M feel it. I wish I could have videoed her response. First, when she felt one her eyes got huge and she said, "I feeled it!" Then she felt some more and she said, "She has the hicumups. Like me. I get the hicumups too." Then, she got this very worried look on her face. "Is her getting sick?" I assured her the baby was fine and hiccups were good for babies, then she gave me a huge, excited hug. She is going to be a great big sister.

How far along? 28 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. And starting to outgrow some :( Sleep: Sleeping HARD. Tim even heard one of the kids before I did this week. Best moment this week: Last night I was working and just happened to have my hand on my belly. I felt a definite elbow or knee (I'm thinking elbow unless she flipped from her last ultrasound) rub across my belly. I don't remember ever feeling that before. Movement: Still very active. Seems to be the most active from about 7 until 9. Not keeping me up with movement though. Milestones: Definitely movement can be felt from the outside now. Gender: Girl Labor Signs: Nope What I miss: Being able to walk without waddling. The hip pain is in full swing. Oye. What I am looking forward to: Getting new floors this week!!!! Weekly Wisdom: Mommy is much more plesant when the dogs do not sleep in the master bedroom. Just sayin'. Complications Update : Nothing new to report. Everything seems on track, swelling is minim...

My husband has been working hard to get the big girls' room ready for the big move-in. We are redoing it quite a bit so that Miss N does not feel like Miss M is "invading" her space. It is going very well and I am so thankful for a husband who works hard all day doing manual labor and comes home and is willing to do it all again, but with kids underfoot. Yet I find myself fearful. It is time to start preparing for this baby. I mean, she is coming in less than 12 weeks max, and it takes time to redo things around the house when you have little ones underfoot. But, the "what if" thoughts are overwhelming. What if we are doing all of this and we are not able to keep this baby. What if my bp goes crazy, the placenta dies, and she dies. What if. . . I am sure many pregnant moms feel these thoughts, but I don't remember having them with either of my other girls. This time is still different. The loss makes it different. The Reality that sometimes, things do not go...

When I was a little girl, my mom read to me. She read "big" books, like Black Beauty, the Secret Garden, and even a few Nancy Drew. Long after I learned to read, I treasured these times of her reading to me. I have been waiting anxiously for the chance to carry on that legacy with my own children. We have read to them since they were old enough to enjoy it, but reading Mr. Brown Can Moo for the umpteenth time is not the same as progressing through a novel with your child. Miss N, who is almost six, is finally ready. She has shown some interest in chapter books for a while, so we tried one about a puppy who ran away from home. Even with the interruptions of Christmas, she liked the story and was able to remember from session to session. But now. Now I get to share true literature with my child. Together, we have cracked open the pages of one of my all time favorite stories: Misty of Chincoteague . My girl is perhaps as horse crazy as I was as an older child. She loves everythi...

Oops, missed a week! Tim's grandmother passed away this past week on February 17 at 93. We have enjoyed time with family looking back over a life well lived. I did not know her well, but after hearing stories about her I realize that she left an excellent legacy and I am thankful for her life. But, all of these events plus the sickness (it was N's turn and my turn this past week for the tummy flu) have left me with little blogging interest. So here's a double update :) How far along? 27 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. And starting to outgrow some :( Sleep: Starting to get a bit uncomfy. Best moment this week: At the funeral yesterday, our niece played a violin solo. This baby does not respond to music the way her sisters did, but she went nuts when the violin was playing. She settled right down as soon as it stopped, too. Interesting. Movement: Still very active. It is not bothering me, but I do find it interesting that my doctor has commented on how active she is at m...

Sometimes, I feel entirely inadequate as a mom. I mean, I have these two, soon to be three, precious souls who depend on me for so much, and so many times I fall short. I see the moms on Pinterest, Facebook, blogs who sit on the floor playing for hours on end, no laptops or deadlines in sight I see the spotlessly clean houses and “easy organizational steps” and look around my hopelessly cluttered house, even sometimes dirty house, realizing I will never attain that level of perfection. I read about moms making homemade kefir and sourdough bread from scratch and sigh as I pop a frozen pizza in the oven – again – because the meat for dinner did not thaw fast enough or someone needed an emergency run to urgent care. But truthfully, those things are superficial. Where I really feel my failure is in the fact that I often do not feel connected to my kids. I am happy when they are playing on their own or napping. I do not long for them to wake up so we can play. I do not burst wit...

Ok, so I am late this week. It's been CRAZY around here. Doctor's appointments, pneumonia, stomach flu (both Miss M), and work work work have left little time for blogging, let alone energy for it! Baby News: Got the official word that I have a 7:30 appointment to deliver baby on May 17. I kind of like knowing the day ahead of time. I am such a planner! How far along? 25 weeks Maternity clothes? Yep. Sleep: Kids are not sleeping means mommy is not sleeping. Best moment this week: The girls got to see my belly dancing. That's still pretty rare at this stage but they got to see it. Miss M is fascinated by where the baby's parts are and asks me all the time where her head, feet, ears, etc. are. I was glad to have had a scan Monday so I knew the answer. I know where the baby is (in my belly) but I am not good at figuring out positions. Movement: Still very active. Gender: Confirmed Monday that she is for sure female. Labor Signs: Nope What I miss: Sleep. What I am ...

Up until about a year ago, discipline was fairly straightforward in this house. The child disobeyed, there was a consequence. The child obeyed, there was praise. Simple as that. Now, it's all about the attitude. We get obedience, but it's with a tossed head, rolled eye, and a "FINE!" The sass is quite impressive, actually. I know this is not biblical obedience, yet I struggle with the proper way to address the behavior. We have prayed, we have had heart to heart discussions, and we have been firm, but it is not making any headway. If anything, the problem is getting worse. Ignoring it does not work either, as it just gets louder and more persistent. Any seasoned mommies found a way to deal with attitude?