Last Night I Dreamed
The crazy thing about this process is that my body still has pregnancy hormones coursing through it. So, in some ways I am still acting like a pregnant woman with many of the symptoms (thankfully no nausea or vomiting), even though my baby is gone. I am hoping that does not mean that I will need another shot, but we will know that early next week.
Last night I dreamed that the doctor made a mistake and, by some miracle, my babe was still growing inside me. It was a beautiful dream, and waking to the reality that it was just a dream was, well, painful. I am ready for this to be over, ready to get the go-ahead to move on and start planning the future.
On the other hand, knowing that I am at an increased risk for this happening again (about 25 percent) gives me pause. Tim and I will need to pray and discuss the realities of our future.
I'm also very (VERY) worried about the financial aspects of this. To make a long story short, we do not yet have maternity coverage. That should be in place by mid-December, when I would have needed to go for my 10-week checkup. But all of these blood draws, ultrasounds, and the actual drug, our insurance probably will not cover. I am VERY concerned about seeing these bills when they start coming in. I think the hospital will post-date and bill our maternity plan when it comes, but the doctor will not, which I know for a fact from when I was pregnant with Megan. So on top of my hormonal state, I am very, very concerned about upcoming financial issues. I am glad to be alive and you can't put a price tag on that, but it's a very real concern.
Last night I dreamed that the doctor made a mistake and, by some miracle, my babe was still growing inside me. It was a beautiful dream, and waking to the reality that it was just a dream was, well, painful. I am ready for this to be over, ready to get the go-ahead to move on and start planning the future.
On the other hand, knowing that I am at an increased risk for this happening again (about 25 percent) gives me pause. Tim and I will need to pray and discuss the realities of our future.
I'm also very (VERY) worried about the financial aspects of this. To make a long story short, we do not yet have maternity coverage. That should be in place by mid-December, when I would have needed to go for my 10-week checkup. But all of these blood draws, ultrasounds, and the actual drug, our insurance probably will not cover. I am VERY concerned about seeing these bills when they start coming in. I think the hospital will post-date and bill our maternity plan when it comes, but the doctor will not, which I know for a fact from when I was pregnant with Megan. So on top of my hormonal state, I am very, very concerned about upcoming financial issues. I am glad to be alive and you can't put a price tag on that, but it's a very real concern.
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HUGS!